Do You Live by Puzzle or Maze?

Do you live your life by puzzle or by maze?

It can be easy to live you life without thinking “big picture.”  Who wants to hear from their father, as an adolescent, “Have you thought about what job you might need in order to save money for a college education aimed for something that your mother and I both want you to achieve... because we know what is best for you...?”  

“Dad, I’m 10.  At least let me finish this fudgsicle.  It’s melting all over the couch.”

All through life, you most likely have had some type of “grownup support system.” People that are several years older, guiding you with their wisdom and life experience.  This support system initially takes the form of a maze.  Defined walls built with intentions of a direct path towards the fulfillment of a “grand finish.”  All fine and good, except no two walls are designed by the same person in your support network.  They intersect, create dead-ends, go opposite directions…

The maze is something mostly out of your control, where specific direction is painted by others’ expectations of you, and you don’t necessarily know where you are really headed.  You are primarily following painted pathways until you “hit a wall,” and are forced to turn one way or the other.  In your mind, is this empowering in the long term?  What if there was a different approach to finding fulfillment on your crazy life journey?

As you grow into adulthood, your life could also take the form of a puzzle, built piece by logical piece.  Remember those one thousand-piece puzzles that would take several days/weeks to put together?  My mom used to buy one new crazy complex puzzle every Christmas, and would urge me and my three sisters to add at least 2 pieces each, every night before dinner.  When I heard her directives, I often felt frustrated, starving and annoyed.  I liked games, puzzles and all, but being forced to finish a puzzle wasn’t always a fun idea.  Eventually, the process of practicing patience and quiet contemplation became appeasing.  We became a silent train of puzzle membrane.  She had a personal goal, and we silently helped complete it.  The coolest thing, though, is that no matter if we helped or not, the process of puzzle-building was my mom’s “zen.”  We were not always around to help, but she kept putting the pieces together at her own pace.

She thrived off of the challenge, and sometimes depended on the top lid of the puzzle box to provide cardboard guidance of what the actual picture is supposed to look like (if you survived the “don’t-sleep-until-the-edges-are-done” experience).  If we all got stuck, that top lid was everything.    

In this method of life as a well-pieced puzzle, the support system mentioned earlier does not go away.  These people that help you build that full puzzle picture are your “top lid,” providing guidance, straight up support and hints as you experience the puzzle building process. They are your family, certain coworkers, mentors, neighbors, bandmates, dental hygienists, etc.  They are there at your 5th grade graduation, your 8th grade graduation, when you went through puberty, when you first had to pay for movie snacks on your own, when you learned to write a check (blast from the past), when you negotiated a contract for your first hybrid car.  They may be semi-strangers that talk you through a problem or give you really great neutral advice.  

EXCEPT, their expectations for you are no longer defined by concrete maze walls.  They are there to help you find the edge pieces, or that one piece with the little dot of yellow and the black flowery background when you really get stuck.

Life will always be something that doesn’t have concrete answers or even a very clear path.  It can be super intimidating at times and extremely complicated, to say the least.  Living life like you are in a maze, while seemingly supportive and well-defined, will often provide a false reality in the long-term that is painted by other people’s perspectives.  But, is it YOUR perspective?  

Live life like you are constantly BUILDING.  Look for the pieces that FIT, even if you have no f*$ing idea what you are actually building.  That’s ok, because your top lid people will always be there to help you fill in the gaps of what your picture should look like.  Life can be aMAZEing, but sometimes a good puzzle is all you need to truly find complete fulfillment, piece by crazy piece.